Life is not the way
it's supposed to be.
It's the way it is.
The way you deal with it~ Virginia Satir* [1918-1966]
is what makes the difference.
is what makes the difference.
How many times, after something awful has happened, have I heard - and said - "it's just not fair; that shouldn't have happened; it's not the way it's supposed to be..." But yet I can't remember ever saying that when something spectacularly good has happened. How IS life supposed to be? We are born through no fault of our own, we grow up, go to school, work, marriage or not, divorce or not, kids (or not)...and all the other stuff that happens good or...until...
So, God of All That's Supposed to Be, I don't really believe in "Fate," I believe in "Stuff Happens," and that some days, months, weeks, years, are better than others. I know what to do in the good times, but I need Your help in the not-so-wonderful moments. I want to be able to quickly accept the reality of a moment, however crazy, difficult, or tragic, and find a practical way forward - to have a sort of spare tire plan. I've already had a bit of life experience so maybe I can review my initial awareness of when the blowouts hit and think about other ways I might have - or not - reacted. With my car, having a spare tire gives me a first step in measured response rather than all disorganized reaction.
I can't possibly predict or plan for every eventuality but with Your help, and a lot of deep breathing, I'll have a spare tire attitude ready for almost anything, and someOne to lean on all the way. amen.
*Virginia Satir was an American author and psychotherapist specializing in family therapy. Her role play formats in family reconstruction and family sculpting among other aspects of her work have been widely used and she received many honors within her profession. She often used meditation and poetry in her written work and lectures. The following, one of her best known pieces, was written in response to angry teen-aged girl but is certainly useful for us all:
I am me
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it – I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself – I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears – I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me – by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts – I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me – However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me – If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded – I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me – I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me – I am me and
I AM OKAY
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