Meditation Moment in Lent ~ Day 32, Give Up, Take On, Pray

 

   Imagine a trust in yourself, or another person, or in life itself, that doesn’t need to be proved or demonstrated, that is able to contain uncertainty.  People sometimes put their trust in a spiritual leader and are terribly betrayed if that person then fails to live up to ideals. But a real trust of faith would be to decide whether to trust someone, knowing that betrayal is inevitable because life and personality are never without shadow. The vulnerability that faith demands could be matched by an equal trust in oneself, the feeling that one can survive the pain of betrayal.

~Thomas Moore* 1940-

[emphasis added]

   Betrayal comes in many forms and guises and when discovered it is deeper than a knife in the heart. It can feel as if the depth of that knife is fatal and at times, for myself, I wanted it to be so. But it is survivable ~ out of everyone I've ever known there have been only a few who have willingly mislead or intentionally deceived me, and one or two that I’m aware of, who didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. As with any trauma, however deep or embedded in our hearts and souls and psyches, with help as needed, we can move forward. Today is all we have in this Earthly existence. Living in past anguish prolongs it. Counting the ones we can and do trust, relieves it and steadies the ground of our being that theologian Paul Tillich described, even if we are, understandably, a bit wary for  a time.

Dear Jesus,
          Betrayal in my life pales in comparison to Yours. While You saw it coming and predicted it to the very people who would betray You, perhaps in Your humanness You still hoped that it would not come to be. 
         As for me, learning to trust after discovering a betrayal was very difficult and very painful. I have moved on but the faint echo of the hurt is still there yet fading with the time that passes. So, for today, I will give up needing to replay the anguish in my mind and take on making certain that I am not one who will ever deceive another or cause any emotional harm. I will pray to trust my own instinct about people and accept that I will sometimes be disappointed, and may disappoint others. AND I will concentrate on all the many many others who have been and are grace-filled gifts in my life. This is proof enough that I can have faith and trust in others as I have in You. More importantly, whatever happens in human relationships, I know that my faith and trust in You will always be well-placed. amen.  

*Thomas Moore, is a writer, psychotherapist influenced by Jung and James Hillman. He is also former monk, and has been a professor at Glassboro State College and Southern Methodist University.  Dr. Moore has authored Care of the Soul, which was on the NY Times bestseller list for almost a year, and Soul Mates among 30 other books on soul, spirituality, and depth psychology, and lectures internationally on ecology, psychotherapy, and religion.

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