May
17, 2024 ~ Friday, Week 7
Life is not the way
it's supposed to be.
It's the way it is.
The way you deal with it
is what makes the
difference.
~ Virginia Satir*
How many times,
after something awful has happened, have I heard/do we hear ~ and said ~
"it's just not fair; that shouldn't have happened; it's not the way it's
supposed to be," especially when those something awfuls have happened in
my own life. But yet I can't remember ever saying ~ or hearing ~ the words “that’s
perfectly fair; it’s supposed to happen that way” when something spectacularly
good has happened. How IS life supposed to be? We are born through no
fault of our own, we grow up, go to school, to work, into marriage or not,
divorce or not, kids or not. Our loved ones die, and there may be other tragedies...does
anyone escape grief? Life brings all that happens, good, bad, even boring, until we
die.
So, God of All That's “Supposed
to Be” ~
I don't really believe in "Fate" since You have given all of us Free Will. I do believe in "Stuff
Happens" sometimes because we or others made "free" decisions or it's just a-day-in-life and that some days, weeks, months, years are better than others,
some are less better and some are plain awful. I know what to do in the good
times, but I need Your help in the not-so-wonderful moments. I want to be better able
to find my way to accept the reality of a moment, however crazy, difficult, or
tragic, and find a practical way forward ~ to have a sort of spare
tire plan. I've already had quite a bit of very ordinary, very lovely, and very very difficult life losses and experiences. Looking back and realizing my initial shock
when the sudden blowouts have hit, I only remember fragments of those first
moments and for a good while beyond, and now I understand that it takes time to find my footing again. With my
car, having a spare tire gives me a precious first step toward a measured, if
shaky, response about what to do immediately and then what's next.
Of course, I can't possibly predict or plan for
every eventuality but with Your help, a lot of deep breathing, even more
attention to You with a regular conversation like this one (my
way of prayer), I'll have a spare tire attitude ready for almost anything even
if it takes some time to find the repair I’ll need to move forward. I hope (and pray) that for some freedom from more of the really hard times but I understand that life will bring whatever it brings. I
will work on not blaming myself wondering what I might have done differently
when things happen that I cannot control. The best part is that I always have
You to lean on through every terrible, unspecial, and terribly wonderful day in this life and bloom through the ice of the storms. amen.
*Virginia
Satir [1916-1988] was an American author and
psychotherapist specializing in family therapy. Her role play formats in family
reconstruction and family sculpting among other aspects of her work have
been widely used and she received many honors within her profession including
being recognized by colleagues as The Mother of Family Therapy.
She often used meditation and poetry in her written work and lectures.
The following, one of her best known pieces, was written in response to angry
teen-aged girl but is certainly useful for us all:
I am me
In all the world, there is no one
else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically
me
Because I alone chose it – I own
everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my
voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to
myself – I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears – I
own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and
mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately
acquainted with me – by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with
me in all my parts – I know
There are aspects about myself that
puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know – but as
long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can
courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to
the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about
me – However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and
do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment
in time is authentically
Me – If later some parts of how I
looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I
can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent
something new for that
Which I discarded – I can see, hear,
feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be
close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order
out of the world of
People and things outside of me – I
own me, and
therefore I can engineer me – I am
me and
I AM OKAY
Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ’This is the
greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love
your neighbor as [you love] yourself.” ~ Matthew 22:37-39
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