March
13, 2024 ~ 5th Wednesday in Lent
Holding on to anger is
like drinking poison
and expecting the
other person to die.
Holding on to anger is
like holding hot coals
you intend to throw at someone
but you're the one who
gets burned.
Anger
is an acid that does more harm
to the vessel in which it is
stored
than to anything on which
it is poured.
All of
the above quotes, in a variety of similar iterations, have variously been
attributed to The Buddha, Mark Twain, Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca, 12-Step
programming, and any number of contemporary authors. It is often difficult to
pin down the actual origin of almost epigrammatic expressions especially when
widely quoted. Nonetheless, whoever said them first, the consensus of the above
is that anger is more dangerous to oneself than to others. Anger that escalates
to rage and/or combines with desperation, however, can certainly be dangerous for
everyone around.
But not all anger is bad or dangerous ~ it's quite
appropriate and justified, when it's directed at or a result of personal loss,
instances of gross injustice, discrimination, economic hardship, and so on. It
is how we use our anger, how we respond that
makes the difference between poisoning ourselves and resolving an
issue. Thoughtful response rather than impulsive reaction? Some days are
better than others. How can I pull back when pushed over an edge? Counting to
10? Deep breathing?
So much depends on when and how the anger surfaces
and who is pushing my buttons and what else is going on within me that may be
completely unrelated.
For one who is
constantly seething over things small and large, “itching for a fight”
consciously or otherwise, or keeping it all inside unexpressed with an
all-gracious exterior, seeking outside help, pastoral and/or professional is a
useful step in self-care.
We all know that Jesus says to love our neighbors as we
love ourselves. If I’m spending much of my brief life raging at others,
even just inside, it says more about how I feel about me than
how I actually feel about her, him, and them.
Dear God,
There are days when I want You to be Your Old Testament
Self ~ smiting and plaguing, wrathful and condemning, thundering, destructive,
and vengeful, oh my! That gives me permission, sort of, to impose the eye for
eye/tooth for tooth thing as I plot my revenge against a perceived enemy.
But mostly, I want ~ and need ~ Your New Testament Self in the form of
Jesus who relieves my angst and anger, and shows me a quieter yet equally
satisfying path. For today, I'll give up attempting to
bend my part of the world to my will by shouted recrimination or internal rage.
I'll take on seeking more positive outlets to right
injustice, overcome discrimination, promote understanding, or get involved with
organizations that work to resolve large issues that affect us all. I'll also
work toward calming my inner upsets, examining the why and how of what
bothers me, and continuing my quest for the inner peace that will reflect
outwardly. I'll pray for the guidance and blessing of
the Holy Spirit, the support and friendship of a loving community of faith, and
the collective wisdom and love of family and close friends. Oh, and I'll keep
working on what I'm thinking about those other drivers when
I’m in the car. amen.
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